
Cairn
2026
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Welcome to the surface, ITER employee #8. Mine the Pillar, upgrade your tools, defend your base, reach the top... or die miserably. Each expendable worker pushes the mission forward - one glorious, replaceable iteration at a time.
You have been randomly selected for the ITER Corporation’s exciting vertical ventures department. Drill the pillars that encircle our homeworld, extract essential resources, and try not to get obliterated in the process. If you fail, don’t worry, your replacement will be along shortly - probably with a better attitude. Crack open the Pillars like a big happy management-mandated breakroom piñata. Inside you’ll find valuable minerals and definitely no workplace hazards. The Company needs you, your hand eye coordination, and your bullets. Take control of the gun tower and build automated turrets to fend off waves of potential threats on the surface. ITER puts self-improvement first. Mine faster, shoot harder, or slap some duct tape on that gear in the name of “R&D.” Your career growth is in your hands (until they’re vaporised). We are grateful for your continued commitment to ITER. Your inevitable replacement will pick up where you left off and may even bring new skills… Remember, in space, no one can hear you scream - and to do so is a waste of valuable company time
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