
Cairn
2026

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In a world where pets run the government, President DJ Nibbles has spent most of his time lying in sunbeams and using his desk as a scratching post. But now his days of zoomies in the Oval Office are coming to a close, as the U.S. prepares to elect its next Cat President! Six wildly incompetent candidates are throwing their yarn balls into the ring, each more dysfunctional than the last. You’re the human campaign manager tasked with keeping these adorable candidates out of trouble. Wrangle egos, dodge scandals, fall in love, and maybe even save the country...or make it much, much worse. With a script that’s nearly 100,000 words long, Cat President: 3rd-Rate Candidate is a visual novel packed full of romance, humor and cute pictures of real cats. Whether you’re a campaign veteran or just here for the musical numbers and fur-flying debates, it’s the most paws-itively absurd political simulator you’ll ever play.
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